Choosing

It’s early morning (7.30am). I am ironing. I know it is a weird time to iron but my daughter sleeps quite well after first morning feeding (at 7am) and I usually I have an hour and half or two hours to do something requiring more time. After that one morning nap it is usually a roller coster. I may have lots of time or I may have none. So, I am ironing. I am so happy, that she still sleeps, that I am starting to make more plans. Hmmm, the Lent is coming and I would love to make a Lent wreath with four candles, how about going out and pick up some greenery? Also there is that recipe for yeast rolls that I would love to try. And perhaps I could tidy at least one small cupboard and write a blog and…
Uh, she is crying!
2 hours later..
I am back. Lucy is intently observing toys from the baby gym and I am intently observing her:) She is a joy to watch even if it means I cannot do most of the things I planned. Hang on, it’s not too bad. I will actually go and pick up some greenery. The weather is lovely, and if she will feed well and not fret and be ok in the car and…well if things will go smoothly, we may actually have a nice walk and pick up the greenery. If not though, we will embrace whatever will come with a smile. Because I want to do things, I want to go out and still follow my passions, but I don’t have to. I can always stop and change my plans. I can look at my baby and ask myself: what would make her happy at this moment? What else really matters? Nothing. When she is happy, it makes me happy. So: I breathe out, I smile. I slowly finish this blog. I think about being soft. I remember that I can do things, but I don’t have to. I can find contentment right here, right now.
Uh, she is crying again.
What do you want to do, what do you have to do today?
Stop. Breathe. Notice. Be soft. Choose.